“You will be graced with the disaster your soul requires to find its way home” by Tim Farrington in A Hell of Mercy.
This is a similiar thought to Hannah Hurnard in her book Hind’s Feet on High Places where she describes God’s love as “beautiful but it is also terrible—terrible in its determination to allow nothing blemished or unworthy to remain in the beloved.”
God is more interested in our sanctification than we are. But God knows we can’t be really happy until He has made us holy.