But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do will be spontaneous and not forced. Philemon 14
The context of this verse is Paul sending Onesimus back to Philemon. Paul knew Philemon since he was a Christian at the church in Colosse. Onesimus had been Philemon’s slave who had apparently stolen from Philemon and then ran away. But in the amazing providence of God, Onesimus went to Rome, met Paul and subsequently became a Christian. Paul was now sending Onesimus back to Philemon. Paul says, “I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me” (verse 13).
Paul could’ve kept Onesimus with him while he was in prison in Rome. Onesimus would’ve been able to provide Paul with food and other supplies which would have made Paul’s life a little easier, but he didn’t want to presume upon Philemon’s kindness. Even though it seems clear that Philemon would have been happy to help Paul in any way he could, “knowing that you will do even more that I ask” (verse 21).
We do others a disservice when we presume upon their kindness or put them under some sort of obligation to assist, even if it’s for the cause of the gospel. We may see a great opportunity to advance the kingdom but we mustn’t pressurise fellow believers into in doing a kindness for someone without their freely given consent.
It’s God who convicts, challenges and guides his children, not us. Our finest service for God is given freely from a heart of thankfulness, not from a sense of obligation.
agreed. hear hear, yup.
How annoying are people who want you to do things that you have no intention of ever doing.
agreed. hear hear, yup.
How annoying are people who want you to do things that you have no intention of ever doing.
3 cheers on quoting philemon. a difficult and admirable task.
and i completely agree. it is a complicated thing to allow other people to use their liberty in whatever way they choose. especially when we wish they would use it in a different way, or in a way that would benefit us with very little effort on their part.
i came to this realization within the past year and it has alleviated much stress in my marriage when this principle is practiced by both parties. “i would love it if you would help me out by doing this thing for me. but if you do not, i recognize that it is your choice and i still love you and accept you either way and there are no hard feelings.” when a person comes at me from this place, my heart’s reaction, almost every time, is to then use my freedom to serve them in love.
but when i feel obligated, or when i feel like they have just walked up and thrown a choice in my face that is actually, “you can make me happy or make me really mad and suffer the consequences”, my reaction is to hold onto my freedom and not reward that type of behavior. yet we have been admonished to not resist an evil person. what a horrible position to be put into.
bravo for bringing this topic into the public forum. was this a devotional for your church? if not, i think it should be.
yebbuhni
3 cheers on quoting philemon. a difficult and admirable task.
and i completely agree. it is a complicated thing to allow other people to use their liberty in whatever way they choose. especially when we wish they would use it in a different way, or in a way that would benefit us with very little effort on their part.
i came to this realization within the past year and it has alleviated much stress in my marriage when this principle is practiced by both parties. “i would love it if you would help me out by doing this thing for me. but if you do not, i recognize that it is your choice and i still love you and accept you either way and there are no hard feelings.” when a person comes at me from this place, my heart’s reaction, almost every time, is to then use my freedom to serve them in love.
but when i feel obligated, or when i feel like they have just walked up and thrown a choice in my face that is actually, “you can make me happy or make me really mad and suffer the consequences”, my reaction is to hold onto my freedom and not reward that type of behavior. yet we have been admonished to not resist an evil person. what a horrible position to be put into.
bravo for bringing this topic into the public forum. was this a devotional for your church? if not, i think it should be.
yebbuhni