Sharon Hodde Miller begins her book, Free of Me : Why Life Is Better When It’s Not About You, by explaining why life is better when we are less self-focused and more God-focussed. There is freedom in living to please God and not being burdened with our self-image, our ambitions and our agendas, but rather trusting God to bring about circumstances that are best for us.
Miller looks at seven common areas where our focus can easily become about us. These are: God, family, appearance, possessions, friendship, calling and church. Rather than being the blessings that God intends, they become ends in themselves that we use to measure our self-worth.
Miller acknowledges the difficulties of shifting our focus from ourselves to God and presents four strategies to learn to move away from self-focus to God centredness. The first is deliberately focusing on God, praising, loving and bringing to mind his many blessings. The second is loving others. Even small irritations can become opportunities to love others if we think about how we can use these experiences to gain insight and to grow our empathy and compassion. In order to do this, we have to see others as people worthy of our time and attention. The third is using our giftedness and finding purpose. Paul found contentment in prison because he was still able to achieve his purpose of preaching the Gospel (Philippians 1:13). The fourth is cultivating humility and remembering that God has something bigger and better going on than our comfort.
Miller concludes with a caution not to turn self-forgetfulness into martyrdom or neglect. We can do this through checking our motives for the sacrifices we make and looking at the consequences of those sacrifices. Are they making us more Christ-like or more self-focused?
Miller’s final point is that healing matters to Jesus. He wants us whole and healed so that we can fulfil his purposes for our lives.
Overall, an insightful and thought-provoking book.
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