Recently I read, A Country Wife by Lucy Pinney. It was a biographical novel, that is mostly non-fiction, also not a Christian book. The story begins when the author, a town girl, marries a farmer. She makes huge adjustments in life style and many sacrifices as life on the land is financially difficult. Her husband seems oblivious to this and after twenty odd years of marriage he leaves her. He goes and lives with another woman on a farm. Some time later the author’s youngest child wants to see his father so she agrees to take him. She is amazed to discover amongst other things the farm her ex-husband now lives on is neat and tidy, the kitchen is animal-free and he now eats goat’s cheese. These things never happened when he was living with her. She is completely confused by this and the book finishes soon after with her living with another guy determined never to be a ‘wife’ again. If this was an isolated scenario I would be not so disturbed by it but unfortunately I have read similar things elsewhere. I guess my question is, if women make huge sacrifices for men does it make them feel incompetent, weak, dependent and that’s why they completely discount them? Or is there some other reason?
i think most people misunderstand the bible’s teaching on marriage. the classic passage in ephesians paints a much different picture than the one that we see commonly being preached.
wives are told to submit to the husband as the church submits to christ.
but the other side of the coin is that the husband is supposed to love his wife in the same way that christ loved the church.
how did christ love the church? he sacrificed EVERYTHING for her. he served her to the utmost even pouring out his life unto death. THIS is what is missing. we are to serve one another, basically. too often, i do not see both spouses putting in the same effort and priority into their partners and learning how to serve them and bring out the greatest joy possible.
we usually want that from the other person, but “it just takes too much work for me to do the same for you.”
if we can move past this and HELP one another, i think we find the health and balance that is sorely needed in the marriage relationship.
mrvado
I think there are many reasons why this happens in a marriage and not just one.
I agree with jon on the bible’s view of marriag. when the submission topic is brought up, many forget the bible tells us hubands are to respect their wives and love them.
I have been married for 33 years and I will tell you it has not been easy but my husband and I not only love each other but we respect each other. We have never gone in the the name calling bit or belittled each other in any way. Both have to work to make a marriage a good one.